Love is Blind
by Emiliana Keladry
Summary: A shuttle accident leaves Chakotay with no sight and stranded with Kathryn until help comes. Maybe now they can finally say those words left unsaid.
1. Chapter 1

**Love is Blind**

A shuttle accident leaves Chakotay with no sight and stranded with Kathryn until help comes. Maybe now they can finally say those words left unsaid.

_By Emiliana Keladry_

**Setting: **Implied during season six.

**Pairings:** Chakotay/Kathryn, Tom/B'Elanna

**Disclaimer: **I don't own these characters, they belong to those Star Trek guys that never put Chakotay and Kathryn together like they should have.

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Kathryn Janeway put her feet up on the console, flipping to the next chapter of her book. She sighed, letting her hair fall onto her hand resting by her ear. Three days relaxing on the Delta Flyer while scanning a nebula with unique properties was quite calming. Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway had been ordered to take the three days to enjoy themselves after a stressful two weeks that had left them with short tempers with each other and the crew. Tuvok had ordered them to take some shore leave before the crew had a grumpy mutiny and forced them to relax. They hadn't even been allowed to wear their uniforms, just casual clothing. It had only been eight hours since they left Voyager and Kathryn already felt at ease. She adjusted her dress to cover more of her legs and fixed one of her wool socks that had moved. The rear door opened and Chakotay appeared with two glasses of champagne.

"Could you use some refreshments?" he teased, taking a seat next to her.

"Of course, thank you."

"How's the book?"

She sighed, closing it slightly but keeping her hand between the pages. "It's not exactly as good as I thought it would be."

"Well, what are you reading?" Chakotay asked, reaching for the book. She quickly pulled it away from him.

"It's a Klingon romance novel, Women Warriors at the River of Blood. B'Elanna recommended. She said that it would be quite interesting and an exploration into her culture. I'm pretty sure that she was pulling my leg."

"You haven't learned anything?"

"Well, it seems that Klingon women are extremely… physical in their romantic relationships. I've probably learned too much."

Chakotay laughed, taking a look at the shuttle's systems. "Maybe Tom should read that."

"B'Elanna told me that Tom also recommended it to me. I personally don't want to know what some of my crew do in their spare time."

He chucked, keeping his eyes on the console as she opened her book again, quickly skimming a scene with a dagger. It was almost uncomfortable to read with Chakotay in the same room as her. She glanced up at him in his casual clothing, noting that he looked nice today. He turned around and Kathryn quickly looked away.

"Well, if you're hungry I've prepared some lunch for us in our make-shift mess hall and sleeping quarters. I replicated a tasty meal. It seems that this replicator is much better than the one in your quarters," he teased.

"I'm ready. All this romance is making me hungry," Kathryn laughed.

She set down her book, plopping her feet onto the deck plating. Chakotay put out an arm, which she gratefully accepted, and he escorted her to the 'mess hall'. She gasped as the door opened. The small area was decorated with candles and a table covered with a silky white cloth. The smell of grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, sweet corn, and rolls filled her nose. Everything looked wonderful and delicious! He pulled out her chair, letting her sit and dropping her napkin in her lap. He sat down across from her with a smile on his face.

"Do you like it?"

"It all looks so wonderful. This is what you were doing while I was suffering through that horrible book," Kathryn answered, grinning at him.

"I had to do something to keep myself occupied. There wasn't room for me to build a bathtub back here. I also doubt that Tom would appreciate that change to the Delta Flyer."

She laughed again, taking a bite of her food. "I agree. Tom wouldn't like that. But a bath does sound nice."

"I'll make that my next project. I'll have to assemble it piece by piece, so it might take a while."

They continued to eat, enjoying the soft music that Chakotay has picked.

"This is delicious by the way. Maybe I should think of replacing my glorified toaster with this replicator. It seems to like you well enough."

"Well, maybe I'll let you make desert and we'll see if it likes you."

"Wonderful plan," she said, raising her glass in a toast.

The two ate dinner, laughing and having a wonderful time. Chakotay was telling Kathryn a story about his father where he got in trouble for accidentally walking into a female restroom while visiting a boardwalk restaurant. She laughed. They were having such a wonderful time. After they finished eating, Chakotay offered to clean up.

"Nope, that's not fair. You cooked, I can clean up."

"At least let me help you," he teased.

Together they began to recycle the leftovers and the plates. Suddenly, the shuttle rocked slightly. An alarm went off in the Delta Flyer. They quickly abandoned their cleaning and rushed to the front of the shuttle. Chakotay sat down at tactical, checking the systems to find out what was causing the alarm.

"The inertial dampers are losing power somehow," Chakotay reported. "I'll see what I can do."

"It's the nebula," Kathryn muttered after a moment. "There's a strange phenomenon coming from the 'unique' qualities that Tuvok sent us to investigate. It's causing a power drain somehow."

"I think I've stabilized the problem," Chakotay announced, turning around. "Should we continue our dinner? I thought that you'd like to try making some dessert with your new replicator friend."

Kathryn stood up and allowed him to lead the way. "I'm ready for a challenge."

Suddenly, an explosion rocked the shuttle! The captain lost her balance, but Chakotay quickly caught her and steadied her as another explosion occurred somewhere else. She looked up into his eyes for a moment, thanking him as he smiled. Before they could say anything, the shuttle began to speed up and they were almost knocked over again. Chakotay rushed to the pilot's seat and sat down, trying to get control of the flyer. There was a flash of light and Kathryn ducked flying sparks as she took her place at tactical, attempting to figure out what the hell was going on with the shuttle.

"Main power is going offline!" Chakotay shouted as more alarms filled the room and the garbled voice of the computer listed off the shuttle's systems that were failing.

"There's a planet," Kathryn announced, looking at the scans of the area. "We could do an emergency landing!"

"That's the best plan I've heard, hold on this ride is gonna get bumpy."

Chakotay quickly began the descent into the planet's upper atmosphere. Kathryn monitored what systems she could, scanning for a safe place to set down. The surface of the planet was covered in dense craters and rocks, looking more like Earth's moon than a safe place to land while having shuttle malfunctions. They had no choice. Another alarm went off and Kathryn quickly realized that they were coming in too fast and steep.

"Chakotay!" she shouted.

"Move to the back of the shuttle," he ordered.

There was a strange whining noise and his console exploded. Kathryn watched in horror as he was thrown back away from the console, and landed on the ground with burn marks on his face and tan shirt, accented against the lighter color. The shuttle was spinning out of control. She ran up to her friend and locked her arms under his, pulling him back to the rear of the shuttle. Blood ran down his face as she tried to access what was happening. Kathryn rerouted as much power as she could to the controls and tried to pull the shuttle up. She couldn't slow them down enough, but managed to pull it up slightly. Jumping up from her chair, she put her body over Chakotay as the shuttle crashed onto the surface of the planet.

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_What do you think of the first chapter? Please leave a review! :)_

_Emma_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Voyager doesn't belong to me… darn it.**

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**Chapter 2**

Her head felt like a shuttle had crashed on it. Kathryn slowly opened her eyes, seeing strange rocks outside the window of the flyer. Everything came rushing back and she sat up quickly. Her vision spun for a moment before she got her bearings among the sparks flaring from various controls and debris in the shuttle. Where was Chakotay? He was lying a few feet away from her on his stomach. Kathryn rushed to him, rolling him onto his back. She gasped at the sight of his face. There were extensive burns on his face and hands. Part of his shirt was torn and she could see dark purple bruises forming on his skin.

"Chakotay?" the captain called.

His chest was rising and falling slowly, showing Kathryn that he was at least still alive. She lurched to her feet, searching desperately for the medical kit. It had fallen loose and several of the components were strewn across the floor from the crash. The medical tricorder was still in working order. Her hands were shaking as she opened it up. Before she could scan him, Chakotay slowly opened his eyes with a moan.

"Lie still," she encouraged.

"Kathryn," his voice was full of pain and slight panic. "Kathryn, is that you?"

"Yes, I'm right beside you."

He turned his head in her direction, but his eyes didn't focus. "Why is it so dark? I can't see anything."

Kathryn felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach as she realized what he had said. He couldn't see anything? She held the tricorder in her hands as she scanned him. Chakotay closed his eyes, taking in deep breaths to remain calm and control the pain.

"Is there any other pain?" she asked, looking at the results.

"My left side… it's a little numb, but the pain isn't too bad."

"Oh Chakotay…" Kathryn slowly scanned him, examining the results. "Your optical nerves are damaged; I can't do anything to help you. Second degree burns on your face and hands; I'll treat them in a minute."

"I'll be alright for a moment. Go ahead and find out the extent of the damage to the shuttle."

The captain slowly got up and went to the tactical station, checking the systems. Main power was functioning barely, but the engines were offline along with almost every other system in the shuttle, including life support which was working with minimal power. It didn't look good. She tried hailing Voyager, but the transmitter was damaged. It would be the first priority, but Chakotay needed tending to first.

"How bad is it?" Chakotay asked as she returned to his side, and starting using the dermal regenerator on the burns on his hands after giving him something for the pain.

"Life support has minimal power and the transmitter is damaged. Secondary power is not functioning and the engines are too far gone for me to fix. At least we're still in one piece," she answered.

He lay there quietly, which made her frown. Kathryn began to treat the wounds on his face, causing him to hiss softly once from the pain. She rested on hand on his and finished.

"So much for a peaceful away mission," Chakotay teased. "We aren't exactly getting off on the right foot."

Kathryn laughed in spite of herself. "I agree. Will you be okay if I work on repairing the transmitter?"

"Yep, just leave me with the Klingon book and I'll see what I can learn."

She laughed, patting his shoulder and then proceeded to take off her sweater from over her dress and wadded it up. The woman slowly tucked it under Chakotay's head to make him a little bit more comfortable. She went to work on fixing the transmitter, after finding the toolbox. Chakotay occasionally talked to her, but he mostly was quiet. It took quite a while for her to fix the transmitter, but it needed more power. The only available power was in the life support. If she turned down the temperature, it would give her the needed amount of energy, but it would be cold. Kathryn looked over and saw that Chakotay was sleeping. The decision was all hers. They had replicated blankets in the rear of the shuttle that would keep them warm and their own body heat would help. She went to the back of the shuttle, dogging a sparking console and brought the blankets to the front, along with two pillows.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay called in an almost panicked voice.

"I'm right here. Sorry, I went to get the blankets. I had to turn down the environmental temperature to give us enough power for the transmitter."

Kathryn tucked a pillow under his head and put her sweater back on. She handed him the blankets and then went to try hailing Voyager again.

"Janeway to Voyager." There was no answer. "Voyager, this is Captain Janeway. Can anyone hear me?" There was still no answer.

"They must be out of range," Chakotay whispered.

Kathryn dug around, finding the emergency pack with water. Resigned that she couldn't do anything else, she sat down next to Chakotay, putting the blanket around her shoulders as the temperature began to drop.

"This could be worse," Chakotay said, attempting to lighten the situation. "We could be trapped with the Doctor looking at one of his holo-picture programs for two hours with no escape. Or we could be eating leola root for the next two days before they notice we are missing."

"You do have a good point. How are you feeling?"

"A little bit sore and a bit out of it right now. I just wish I could see what was going on to know if we're in any danger."

Kathryn tried to laugh, but it fell from the lips. "There's not much to see. Parts of the shuttle keep sparking and out the front window all I can see is darkness and rocks. Not a very pleasant sight. This planet resembles Earth's room, craters and boring rocks as far as one can see."

"Well, at least I have someone to keep me company," Chakotay teased.

She nodded, and then realized that he couldn't see it. "I agree. It could be worse. Well, the emergency signal is working and all we can do is just help that they hear it soon."

Chakotay nodded, closing his eyes to fight the dizziness and the pain in his side. He knew that he should have told her about the pain, but it didn't matter at the moment. He had a terrible headache, throbbing right behind his eyes. He could hear Kathryn sighed and didn't know how to reassure her that he was going to be fine once the Doctor came to help him. She resituated herself, pulling her dress over her knees. Chakotay knew that she probably was itching to work on repairs, since it wasn't like her to just sit and wait for help. At the same time, he was glad that she chose to keep him company instead.

"Does this mean that dessert is canceled?" he joked. "I guess we'll have to postpone it and have dessert with your replicator on the ship."

"Or we could ask Neelix to make something," Kathryn added with a smile.

Chakotay laughed. "I think I'll just stick with your cooking for now."

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_Thank you for the great response to the first chapter! I hope that you enjoyed the next part! More to come soon. :)_

_Emma_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Voyager, but I wish I had a love like Kathryn and Chakotay. :)**

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**Chapter 3**

Chakotay couldn't sleep, not that he didn't want to, but sleep didn't come to him. His eyes hurt from trying desperately to see with no luck and the throbbing in his head wasn't helping him feel better. At least the pain in his side had subsided some. He listened to the sound of Kathryn's breathing and he knew that she had fallen asleep. It had taken her two hours for her to stop talking to him and fidgeting. She had finally let sleep take her, and her head was resting on his shoulder. Something had been off in the way that she spoke to him, but he couldn't put his finger on what was bothering her. No doubt she was afraid of his condition, not that she would ever admit it.

Hours passed and Chakotay couldn't rest. The pain in his side was increasing and he shivered from the drop in temperature. Every time he got comfortable, the pain in his stomach began to irritate him again, causing soreness and he felt a little lightheaded. Finally, Chakotay realized that he would have to wake up Kathryn.

"Kathryn…" he whispered, waking her up gently.

"Yes, Chakotay. Is something wrong?" she asked, sitting up quickly.

"Well, not exactly wrong…"

"What is it?"

"I need to use the bathroom."

Kathryn laughed softly and he heard her breathe a sigh of relief. She helped him get to his feet. The pain increased, causing Chakotay to gasp, putting a hand on his stomach.

"Are you alright?" Kathryn asked, steadying him.

"I'm fine. It's nothing. Just a little soreness from sitting in the same position for too long. It's okay."

She must have seen straight through his lie, but the captain didn't say anything, just helped him the direction of the rear and to the laboratories. It had been Tom's idea to make sure that the Delta Flyer was equipped with a bathroom since the ones on the other shuttles were incredibly cramped. This one actually had space to wash your hands, which was a wonderful addition. Not that he could easily use it without his vision. He stumbled across the shuttle with Kathryn supporting him so he didn't fall. Once he finished his business, Chakotay allowed Kathryn to take him back to the main part of the shuttle. He sat down heavily, suppressing a groan.

"You look terrible," Kathryn muttered, putting her hand on his.

"I feel terrible," Chakotay commented, trying to smile a little, but it fell. "Kathryn, I lied."

There was a pause before he spoke again.

"My side… keeps throbbing, the pain is excruciating."

Kathryn pulled out the medical scanner and ran it over his side, where his other hand was resting. It didn't take much to realize the problem. Chakotay was bleeding internally, which was causing the tenderness and making his side swollen. She wanted to rest a hand on his skin to give him some comfort, but feared that it would only hurt him more. This was terrible news. From being around the Doctor, she knew that internal bleeding meant Chakotay needed surgery to seal the wound and clean out the excess blood before it caused more problems. There was no way that the captain could perform surgery on him, more or less in a shuttle with no medical supplies, only a tricorder and some mild analgesics.

"What's the diagnosis?" he whispered.

"You're bleeding internally, you need surgery right away. Chakotay, I don't have any medical experience, I can't do anything to help you."

Kathryn became very quiet as she looked at the face of her best friend. He was suffering and she couldn't help him. Chakotay took in a shaky breath, and attempted to pull his blanket tighter around his shoulders. She gently lifted the cloth and tucked it into his hands to help him. Chakotay smiled, leaning back against the bulkhead. In every disaster that they had faced together, Kathryn couldn't remember when Chakotay ever looked in such bad condition. Then she remembered when Chakotay had been laying practically brain dead in sickbay, almost five years ago. She'd been terrified that she would lose him. Yet, this was different because he was conscious and aware that he was clinging to life and without medical attention he would die.

Ever so gently, Kathryn reached out and touched the tattoo on his forehead, tracing the design before moving her fingers to his eyes, being careful not to touch the sensitive skin. He sighed, but didn't speak. Chakotay lifted a hand, taking her hand from his face and rubbing her fingers when he felt how cold they were.

"It'll be warmer if we share body heat," he suggested.

"You have a good point."

"I usually do have good suggestions. My captain doesn't always follow them."

"I listen to the important ones," she mused.

Kathryn let him pull her close to him, folding her into his blanket. She adjusted her blanket to cover their legs and feet. His unique smell filled her nose, calming her slightly. She had always loved his scent when he was close to her; the smell of his aftershave fit him perfectly, masculine with a hint of something sweet. Chakotay sighed, closing his eyes. She frowned, not liking the color of his face or the fact that his vision hadn't improved at all and his condition was deteriorating while they sat waiting for Voyager to hear their distress call. There was nothing Kathryn could do to help him and it made her stomach flop.

"You're quiet," he commented, rubbing her shoulder with his fingers to warm her a little.

"Just thinking," she answered.

Chakotay laughed softly, trying to cover up a grimace. "Is that a good idea?"

"You know me too well, Chakotay."

"Well, if Harry were here he would be trying to keep you distracted from everything and Tuvok would be calmly discussing our options. Not that ideal," he teased. "Now if B'Elanna were here with Tom they wouldn't be too concerned because Voyager hasn't let us down yet."

"What would you be doing if you weren't injured?"

Chakotay thought for a moment. "I would be taking care of you, keeping you company, and making sure that you didn't panic."

"I can't disagree with you," Kathryn chuckled. "But, I can say that I rarely panic."

"No, but you do get very concerned about those around you and feel responsible for them."

"I can't deny that."

Chakotay began to laugh, but quickly stopped, putting a hand on his side and gasping at the sudden pain when he moved. He would have to remember to say still and not cause himself any unnecessary pain.

"Chakotay!"

"It's alright… I probably shouldn't laugh or try to move anymore. Don't worry about me."

The man coughed once into his hand before resting his head against the bulkhead. Kathryn looked at the expression on his face, studying the way he looked in his torn shirt. Even though he was down and beaten, Chakotay was still handsome and made her heart skip a beat. But it was wrong. She couldn't fall in love with her first officer, it wasn't right. There was no way that she could allow herself to be distracted in her mission to get her family home. Kathryn sighed, causing Chakotay to pull her closer to his side almost as if he knew the internal struggle going on in her head.

"If you could be doing one thing right now, instead of freezing in a shuttle, what would you be doing?" he inquired, trying to get her to keep from worrying.

Kathryn thought of what she'd love to be doing at that moment and smiled. Chakotay smiled at her, glancing down at her with his unseeing eyes as if he could tell she was grinning.

"You'll laugh at me," she muttered.

"Come on, tell me. I promise not to tell."

"I have a holodeck program that I created a few months ago, but I haven't tried it yet."

"What is in the program?" Chakotay asked.

"Dancing," Kathryn whispered shyly. "I haven't found someone to dance with me. I tried to make a holo-character, but it didn't feel real enough."

Chakotay laughed. "You usually have a knack for creating realistic holograms," he teased. "When we get out of this, I promise that I'll take you dancing to make up for this lousy shore leave. No shuttles or nebulas."

"That sounds wonderful."

"Let's get some sleep before morning comes and you get itching to fix something. Sweet dreams, Kathryn."

"Good night, Chakotay."

Kathryn hesitated for a moment before resting her head against Chakotay's chest and closed her eyes to get a little shut eye. As she drifted to sleep, Kathryn barely felt Chakotay's lips against her hair, kissing her good-night.

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_Thanks for reading! Please review!_

_Emma_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Voyager, blah blah blah. :)**

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**Chapter 4**

This trip couldn't get any worse unless the Borg decided to assimilate them. Kathryn held Chakotay steady as he retched away from her until his stomach calmed down. She had simply offered him something for breakfast and he suddenly threw up. Kathryn waited until he leaned back, putting his head against the cold floor. His face was pale and his breath was drawing up short, not deep like it needed to be. There was a slight tinge of pink on his cheeks and she realized that he was embarrassed about getting sick in front of her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's not a problem. I doubt that you could help it," Kathryn reassured. "Are you feeling any better?"

"A little… but my mouth tastes horrible. It reminds me of the smell of that concoction that Neelix made to counteract theta radiation when we were helping that freighter about to explode. It smelled terrible and I couldn't believe that he tried it. What I wouldn't do for a breath mint," he laughed softly.

"Would a little water help?"

He nodded as Kathryn put the water bag to his lips and let him take a small sip so not to upset his stomach again. She considered giving him some of the ration food to put another taste in his mouth, but didn't want to cause him to be ill. Chakotay motioned for her to take the water away and he closed his eyes.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Kathryn asked, feeling a sense of helpless at seeing him like this.

"Something else for the pain would be nice," he said through gritted teeth.

"I've already given you the maximum dosage I can give without you losing consciousness again. I need you to remain lucid and keep talking."

Chakotay sighed. "Tell me a story and I'll listen. It takes too much effort to speak right now."

Kathryn thought for a long moment. She considered what would be something that would keep him interested and alert. While she was thinking, she found a towel and discreetly cleaned up the mess so the smell wouldn't cause him to be ill again.

"I'm not good at telling stories, besides I couldn't tell a better story than the angry warrior one you told me on New Earth."

Chakotay smiled, thinking back about that story. It was the only way that he had broken down her walls to let her love him for a brief time before Voyager returned. She'd kept her heart concealed from him for years, only letting him in long enough to heal her heart from mistakes and loneliness before she just relied on herself again. Leaving New Earth had put an end to moments of Kathryn's weakness and her being herself without the burden of being captain and getting everyone safely home. It was the burden that he gladly shared with her. He listened as Kathryn breathed softly, but didn't say anything.

"I can't think of a story," she admitted.

There was something in her voice, a sadness that he detected and couldn't understand. Kathryn stood up and began to work on some part of the shuttle. He wished that he could see her face to read her expression and to read her body language. Something was bothering her. Neither of them spoke for a long time. He lay still, dozing lightly until he heard her swear loudly.

"Kathryn, are you okay?" Chakotay questioned.

"It's nothing… I cut my hand on something sharp."

"We should bandage it so it doesn't get infected. Come over here and I'll help you."

She silently came over to him and sat down. With her free hand, the captain handed Chakotay the roll of cloth bandage from the med kit; the dermal regenerator had disappeared somewhere among the mess. Kathryn helped him wrap it around her hand, pulling it tight and tying it off. His hand lingered on hers for a moment before she pulled it back.

"How are you feeling?"

Chakotay contemplated lying, but his stomach gurgled sickly, giving away how he was feeling. Not very well. Kathryn put a hand on his shoulder, touching his exposed skin with her cold fingertips.

"Not good at all," he muttered.

Kathryn tugged gently at the blanket, showing him that she wanted him to allow her into the warmth again. He opened his arm, pulling her to his side tenderly.

"Tuvok should be contacting us soon… Naomi once reminded me that an away team must report to the ship once every twenty-four hours. We've been out of contact for a while, but not quiet that long," the woman murmured.

"At the same time, they might not contact us to give us the relaxation time that we need. Hopefully they heard the distress beacon and know to contact us sometime soon preferably."

"You're ruining my optimism Commander," Kathryn teased.

"Oh, so it's Commander when I make you annoyed?"

Kathryn laughed softly. "I guess so. Sorry, Chakotay."

"I probably deserved that one." He tried to adjust his uncomfortable position, but didn't have much luck and groaned from the movement. "Ouch."

"Are you okay?"

"No," Chakotay gasped, feeling his stomach lurch. He was going to be sick again. He barely managed to get the blanket from around his shoulders and a little ways away from Kathryn before he threw up. There wasn't much left in his stomach and it left him dry heaving for a moment.

Kathryn quickly went to his side, rubbing his back to make him feel better. "It's going to be okay," she reassured.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"It's not your fault."

"Voyager to Delta Flyer," Harry's voice came over the comm. The sound was crackly and low quality, but it was Harry. "Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay."

"We can hear you Harry," Kathryn answered as Chakotay began heaving again.

"We received your distress beacon, is everything okay?" Harry appeared to be ignoring the sound of Chakotay being ill.

"We had a slight accident, and crash landed on a strange moon planet, but we're in one piece." She rubbed Chakotay's back as he finished and then she helped him lean against the side of the shuttle. "Chakotay was injured and he needs surgery. When will you be here?"

"We'll be in range in approximately three hours."

Chakotay closed his eyes, drawing in uneven breaths. He looked horrible and Kathryn felt worry turn her own stomach. She quickly asked to be put through to the Doctor and informed him of the situation. He agreed that Chakotay needed to remain still and not try to get up again. The man would need emergency surgery. Kathryn scanned Chakotay and gave the results to the Doctor.

"His blood pressure is very low, and his pulse shouldn't be that quick," the EMH reported. "He's going into shock. Captain, I need you to listen to me very closely. You need to make sure the commander is lying flat on his back and elevate his legs slightly to increase blood flow to his major organs. You'll also have to monitor his breathing, to make sure that he keeps breathing. Keep him warm and comfortable, but be prepared that he might lose consciousness."

"Is there anything else I can do to help him?" Kathryn asked, not keeping the concern from her voice.

"Make sure that he remains calm and call me if he gets worse before Voyager arrives. I'll recommend to Ensign Kim that we increase speed to get there as soon as possible. Shock can very dangerous if not treated."

"Thank you Doctor. Janeway, out."

The Doctor closed the connection and the flyer went silent except for Chakotay's labored breathing. She wiped up his mess quietly, glancing in his direction. He didn't speak. Kathryn helped him lie flat on his black and covered him with his blanket, making sure that it wasn't tight around him. Then she went to the task of changing the environmental controls so the temperature would be higher, even though she had to reroute power from some of the secondary systems to do it.

"Kathryn…" Chakotay murmured.

"I'm right here," the captain comforted, taking his hand in hers and discovering that his skin was cold and clammy.

"Don't leave me."

"I won't. I promise."

Again, Kathryn thought that things couldn't get worse unless the Borg decided to assimilate them. Three hours was a long time to be in shock with nothing that Kathryn could do to help Chakotay, but remain at his side.

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_Thanks for reading! Please review!_

_Emma_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Voyager doesn't belong to me and I'm not a doctor, but I did do research to hopefully get the details for this story right.**

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**Chapter 5**

Harry Kim groaned internally as he watched the EMH pace across the Bridge again. He was making this whole situation worse just by his presence. Today was one of those days that he wished the Doctor was still restricted to sickbay. He was worried sick about Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay. They had lost contact with the Delta Flyer shortly after his transmission to them. The Doctor had come to inform him how important it was that they reach the Commander soon before his condition worsened. Shock was extremely dangerous and life threatening. Without treatment soon, he'd die.

"What's our status?" the hologram inquired.

"We'll reach the nebula in less than an hour," Tom answered, saving Harry from snapping at the Doctor again.

"Can we fly any faster, Lieutenant?"

"Keep your shirt on Doctor. Voyager only goes so fast."

The Doctor threw his hands up in frustration. "I'm not sure what keeping my shirt on has to do with our current speed, Mr. Paris. I'm a hologram; I can't take off my shirt so to speak."

"It's a human expression," Tuvok spoke up. "It means that you should remain calm. It might be a good idea for you to return to sickbay and prepare for the Captain and Commander's return."

"You can have all of your surgery prep done before we get there," Tom added.

"That will only take two minutes. I will do better to remain on the Bridge until we arrive," the Doctor protested.

Harry groaned audibly this time, running his hands over his face as the EMH sat down and proceeded to hum to himself as he read a padd. The Doctor was distracting him from his scans of the nebula, detecting the component that caused the flyer's systems to fail. He needed to get his work done before he attempted to strangle a man that didn't need to breath. The Doctor switched to a cheery tune and Harry couldn't take it any longer.

"Doctor!" he yelled.

"Doctor, I suggest you return to sickbay," Tuvok ordered.

The hologram took one look at Harry's face and made a small rude sound before he left the Bridge. Harry sighed once he was gone. At least they could wait in silence now, not knowing what they would find and if Commander Chakotay would still be alive.

* * *

Chakotay coughed up a little blood this time instead of throwing up. Kathryn placed a hand on his chest to keep him from rolling over and causing pain in his stomach. He quietly thanked her before closing his eyes again and taking in labored breaths. In the past hour, he had gotten much worse. Her biggest concern was to keep him breathing and hoping that he hadn't lost too much blood.

"Maybe our next shore leave should just be in the holodeck," Chakotay whispered. "It sounds a lot less painful."

"Sounds nice, but at the same time we can't get interrupted out here by an ensign thinking we are cutting into their holodeck time or by the Doctor or by aliens attacking."

"You never know," he teased. "So much for making this into a romantic weekend."

Kathryn couldn't speak. He had been planning on making this into a romantic weekend together? She should have realized it from the beautiful dinner and flirting, but it was normal for Chakotay to show such kindness to her. He never had a problem showing her his charm on Voyager, but the dinner last night should have been a red flag to her. They knew the line that they couldn't cross and this was dancing along the edges.

"There's been… so many times that I've worried about you… that something bad would happen to you and I wouldn't see you smile again or feel you… touch my arm…" He murmured between shaky breaths.

"I can't say that I don't worry about you when you face something that scares me or if I see you in sickbay with the Doctor hovering over you. You've frightened me many times. I can't see this beginning to make us even."

Chakotay smiled, but it quickly fell. "Something is bothering you."

Again, Kathryn didn't say anything.

"You don't always have to be the strong one."

"No… I do," she whispered.

"Kathryn… I know that it's your mission to get all of us home and you won't be distracted from that goal, but you don't have to do this alone… I'm here with you, always."

The captain moved away from him ever so slightly, but was certain that he felt her move again. Chakotay reached out a hand, searching for her grasp to let him know that he hadn't said anything to hurt her. He let his hand fall, not finding her in the blindness and darkness pressing in on him.

"Do you remember the storm?" he asked.

"We've been through a lot of storms together," Kathryn spoke softly.

"On New Earth, there was that terrible storm that destroyed the traps and part of our shelter. I went to find you in the woods and helped you get back… I kept you safe under the table as everything came tumbling down…" He paused to draw in more oxygen, feeling the pain in his chest and the dizziness swirling around him. "You let me hold you as you let go of your pain. You were forced to accept that there was nothing you could do, but let me protect you."

"Chakotay…"

"You deserve to be happy, to be loved. Never forget that."

He coughed, partially trying to sit up. A small trail of blood went down his chin and Kathryn quickly wiped it away, putting a hand on his chest. She felt it rise and fall, hearing each labored breath and the affect that it had on her. Her own wall was breaking down as she silently prayed that Voyager would arrive at any moment.

"I won't let anything happen to you," Janeway comforted, taking her other hand and running her fingers through his sweaty hair.

Chakotay didn't reply. She picked up the medical tricorder, running it over his body. His heart was beating rapidly and the oxygen output was low. His body temperature had dropped a full degree in the time since she had spoken with the Doctor. Kathryn bit her lip to keep her emotions contained as she looked upon Chakotay's pale face. She wished so desperately at that moment that she could tell him how she felt about him, what he did to her when he simply smiled at her or said her name. It was heart breaking to see him in pain.

After a few minutes, Kathryn realized that he wasn't sleeping, but was unconscious. The Doctor had warned her that this would happen as his condition worsened. Suddenly, Chakotay started breathing rapidly and groaned. He tried to move, but couldn't. Then a sound came from his chest that froze her heart and caused tears to pool in her eyes. A heart wrenching sound of Chakotay choking, not able to breathe anymore filled the flyer. He struggled to take in oxygen, but failed. All movement in his chest stopped.

"Chakotay!" Kathryn exclaimed.

She got to her knees and put her head on his chest, listening for his heartbeat and hearing nothing. Kathryn sat up and put her hands on his chest, beginning chest compressions to get his heart beating again. She leaned over and put her mouth on his, breathing oxygen into his lungs. Again, still no response. More chest compressions. Kathryn vaguely felt his ribs break as she fought for his life. Again, she breathed into his lungs and this time, she received a little response. Chakotay drew in a shaky breath, but it barely caused his chest to rise. Kathryn breathed into his mouth again, but he didn't try to breathe himself this time. She refused to give up!

"Don't you dare leave me, Chakotay!" she choked, barely keeping the sob from her voice. "Don't leave me!"

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_Thanks for reading! Please review!_

_And Poohdog, I hope that my limited medical knowledge is right. :)_

_Emma_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Voyager, but I wish I did… :)**

Author's note: An early update. :) I think that this is my favorite chapter… okay, maybe not… I love all of this story, but I think that you'll really like this one. Some relief, yet weakness and a little humor from the Doctor to lighten the mood. :)

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**Chapter 6**

Kathryn breathed into Chakotay's mouth again and this time he finally responded. He opened his eyes and took a shaky breath before gasping to draw in enough oxygen the second time. She breathed a sigh of relief and picked up the medical tricorder, seeing that his pulse was slow but steady. He groaned in pain with each breath. The medical scanner told her what she already knew, several of his ribs were broken from the CPR, but it was worth it to save his life.

"Chakotay," she murmured.

"Kath…" Chakotay began, but couldn't finish due to his struggle.

"You're alright, just try to breathe evenly."

He nodded once. The sound of his breathing was painful to her ears and she couldn't imagine how it felt. The time that Chakotay had brought her back from death, she didn't remember much of the pain because the Doctor had given her something. Chakotay opened his eyes again and she quickly grabbed his hand.

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway," the Vulcan's calm voice spoke.

"Janeway here, what's your status?"

"We just arrived at the nebula and located the Delta Flyer."

"Good, transport us directly to sickbay. Inform the Doctor that Chakotay needs immediate medical attention."

"Understand. Tuvok, out."

Kathryn waited for the transporter to catch them, holding Chakotay's hand tightly and putting her other hand on his shoulder. He took a few more uneven breaths as his sightless eyes focused in her direction. They disappeared in a swirl of light, being gently deposited on the floor in sickbay. The Doctor was waiting for them and quickly shouted instructions to Tom to move Chakotay onto the medical bed in the surgical bay. Kathryn backed up, releasing Chakotay's hand. She felt a strange sense of worry instead of relief from being back on Voyager. The Doctor went to work preparing Chakotay for surgery, giving him different medications to control his breathing, placing an oxygen mask on his face as he lost consciousness again and removing the remainder of his clothing. Tom assisted him and then came over to the Captain, helping her off the floor. He guided her over to a bed, scanning her as he helped her sit down.

"How is he?" Kathryn asked.

"He's in bad shape… what happened on the flyer?" Tom asked, healing the wound on her hand.

"Chakotay lost consciousness and stopped breathing. I performed CPR to get his heart started again, but I broke several of his ribs and for a moment… I thought that he wasn't going to come back to me."

Tom put a hand on her shoulder. "He's in good hands with the Doc."

"Thank you, Lieutenant," she murmured. "Am I free to leave sickbay?"

"You're a little dehydrated, and in need of a good meal, but you're good to go."

"Thank you. If you don't mind, I'd like to go to my quarters to change and then I'll be back to check on Chakotay in a little while."

"Not a problem, Captain."

Tom watched as she left sickbay. She seemed subdued and upset in her unique Janeway way. When something was bothering her, the captain would never show it outwardly in a display, but inside she was a mess, weak and vulnerable. Chakotay was Kathryn's biggest weak spot and her feelings towards him were easy to see to everyone else, unless it was Kathryn herself trying to discover the meaning of each touch on his arm and the warm smile he gave her every morning. It was heartbreaking to see her so susceptible. Sometimes, it just reminded the crew that she was human and could feel just as deeply as them when she didn't have the burden of Captain keeping her from falling away.

"Lieutenant, I could use your assistance," the Doctor ordered, sounding a bit frazzled for him.

"Of course, Doc."

Tom hurried to his side and helped him, checking on Chakotay's vitals while the Doctor began work on the internal bleeding. Chakotay's pale face drew his attention and the Doctor gave him a strange look.

"I wonder what happened down there," he muttered to himself.

"I doubt that they engaged in any sexual activity with the Commander in this state," the Doctor responded nonchalantly.

Tom snapped his head up to look at the man, shock displayed on his features.

"A joke Mr. Paris, the Commander isn't conscious to hear it." He smiled, picking up the medical scanner and handing it to Tom. "There's damage to his optical nerves that needs attending to. Captain Janeway didn't mention it before, but the Commander most likely has been unable to see since the initial impact. There are signs that the burns on his face were treated with a dermal regenerator, but not very well. Sometimes I wonder if the Captain assumes a scientific background is sufficient to treat injuries."

"Captain Janeway can't be that bad about it. I know she avoids her physical every year and coming to see you if she has a problem-"

"The medical kit she keeps in her quarters has gotten more use that the med kit in Engineering," the EMH interrupted. "And that's not saying anything about the one that she keeps under her desk in her ready room."

Tom was stumped. He went to work on healing the optic nerves before the Doctor told him something else that he didn't need to know. It took over two hours to heal all of Chakotay injuries; the internal bleeding, dehydration, broken ribs, mild concussion, and damage to his eyes. He wasn't out of the woods yet, but he was stable. The Doctor let Tom clean up and he went to contact Captain Janeway to give her the good news.

"Doctor to Captain Janeway," he hailed.

There was no response.

"Captain?"

Again, silence.

"Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

"Captain Janeway is in her quarters," the voice responded.

The Doctor stood up and exited his office, seeing Tom laying a blanket over Chakotay to keep him warm. The man looked up at his entrance.

"Something wrong Doc?" Tom asked.

"No," he lied. "I'm going to make a house call. Keep an eye on the Commander and alert me if his vitals change. I'll be back in a little bit."

"No problem. Good luck."

The Doctor nodded once and made his way to Captain Janeway's quarters. He tried to reach her again, but still didn't receive a response. He waited patiently outside her door for a minute before directly transporting into her quarters. Her clothing was strewn on the floor and the Doctor could hear the sound of her shower water running.

"Captain?" he called. "Are you alright? It's the Doctor."

There was no other sound, save the water pouring down. The bathroom door was partially open and he peered inside. Kathryn was sitting on the floor in the shower, still half clothed with her legs pulled to her chest. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing evenly. The Doctor quickly turned off the water, shocked to feel that it was only lukewarm and cold, not usually the temperature someone bathed in. He draped a towel over her, causing the woman to open her slightly bloodshot eyes. Kathryn was confused, but quickly sat up, adjusting the towel for modesty purposes. The Doctor helped her stand up and slip into her bathrobe, guiding her into the living area and onto the couch.

"I'll get you some coffee," he murmured.

"Thank you Doctor."

He smiled at her. After asking the computer for a cup of coffee, the Doctor handed her the mug and sat down beside her on the couch.

"Would you like to talk about it?" he inquired softly.

She shook her head, but despite that… Kathryn couldn't keep it from him. The Doctor was a trusted friend and wouldn't tell a soul.

"I was scared for Chakotay… I thought that I would lose him and I can't lose him. He's my weak spot, but I bet that's obvious."

"We all understand. It's normal to find one person in your life that you connect with and share all your secrets with. That person for you is Chakotay."

Kathryn nodded once, taking a sip of the warm liquid. "I've never been so close to losing him. Even when he was brain dead, I still had hope that he'd live and when that alien activated the crazy gene… I felt so close to him because he was vulnerable and needed my protection. He's always protecting me, but I almost failed to keep him safe. He could have died."

"But he didn't, you need to remember that. Chakotay is waiting for you in sickbay. He may be unconscious, but I'm sure that it would comfort him to know that you aren't blaming yourself and that you are with him."

She nodded again.

"We can talk more about this later or you can talk to him when he wakes up."

The Doctor held out a hand and helped her stand up. She smiled at him gently and walked towards the door to her quarters.

"You might want to change into something a little more appropriate," the Doctor chuckled. "The Commander might appreciate it later, but some of the crew might find it a little uncomfortable. You probably could make that Vulcan uncomfortable."

Kathryn laughed in spite of her sadness and went to change before going to be with Chakotay.

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_Thanks for reading! Please review!_

_Emma_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Voyager doesn't belong to me, just the hope that Kathryn and Chakotay would be together.

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**Chapter 7**

Kathryn sat quietly beside Chakotay's beside, not wanting to do anything. Tom had brought her a padd from Tuvok, but it didn't interest her at the moment. There was nothing interesting about status reports when the man she most cared about was injured. The doors opened behind her, but she didn't turn to see who had entered.

"Good evening Captain," Tuvok greeted.

"Is it evening already?" she mused, not looking in his direction.

"Yes, you've been back for almost ten hours now."

Kathryn nodded and turned to face him. His hands were behind his back as he stood at attention and she could tell that he meant to speak with her. Kathryn slowly stood up, ignoring the slight spinning of the room. Her knees buckled and she began to fall, but Tuvok quickly caught her in his arms as the Doctor rushed over. The hologram scanned her, easily analyzing the results.

"Your blood sugar level is very low and your body needs nutrition," the EMH reported. "Have you eaten since you returned to Voyager?"

"No, I'm afraid I've been a little distracted. I had a cup of coffee… but that was several hours ago."

The Doctor guided her back to the chair, helping her sit down. Tuvok didn't speak as he observed the way that as the Doctor examined her; she didn't even look at him. Her gaze was fixed on Chakotay's face as if she worried that he would wake up and see her pain. There was something about the way that she looked at him that has changed. It wasn't just the Captain seeing Chakotay, it was a women glancing upon the face of the man that she had fallen for.

"I'll go get you something to eat from the Mess Hall before you pass out on us," the Doctor muttered, almost under his breath.

He paused, waiting for Kathryn to answer.

"Oh, thank you Doctor."

"I won't be long. The commander shouldn't awaken until late tomorrow morning. I gave him a strong sedative earlier."

The EMH nodded and exited sickbay, leaving his patient in the hands of Kathryn and Tuvok. The Vulcan followed Kathryn with his eyes as she rested in face in her hands for a moment. He stepped closer to her, placing a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"How are you doing, Captain?" Tuvok asked.

"I've definitely been better, Tuvok. It wasn't exactly a relaxing few days. Next time, you decide to give Chakotay and I some shore leave, please just put us in the holodeck, uninterrupted for a few days. It's easier to keep us close in case one of us gets hurt."

"Captain, you are not to blame for this."

"I keep telling myself that, but I don't believe that it's sunk in yet. I have never been this close to losing him as I was this time. Chakotay is…" Kathryn couldn't find herself able to finish that thought.

Tuvok pulled up a chair and sat down beside her, which seemed unusual for him. "Captain, there's nothing wrong with how you feel for Chakotay. I have been observing your behavior with him since you invited him onto our ship. At first, it was simply for security reasons, so he didn't have an opportunity for mutiny. As time passed, I began to notice the way that you two looked at each other and the gentle touches on his arm or shoulder. Something changed between you on the planet we left you on because of the illness. You were different with him. It brought you even closer."

"Tuvok…" Kathryn murmured.

"Over the years you have strengthened your relationship; though you had times of trial… you also had laughter and kept each other company through the tough times. Chakotay has always been honest with you and cared for you. He is an honorable man."

"I can't…"

"Kathryn, it is in my experience that we are given one person that will love us for all time, a pure and devoted love. Vulcans mate for life and even though you may think that doubt could cloud our thoughts, we focus on what our lives would be without the one we love. Love may be illogical, but it is the strongest emotion that you can have."

Kathryn put her hand on her cheek, resting it gently. "My duty is to this crew, to get them home safely. I can't be distracted from my obligation to return them home."

"Captain, I understand. Yet, at the same time you have a responsibility for yourself. I do not think you that you deserve anything less than the happiness that you grant to others." He stood up beside her. "You don't have to decide at this moment, but it is something that I suggest you consider."

"Thank you," Kathryn whispered, barely holding back her emotions and the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes.

"I will see you in the morning. Good night, Captain."

"Good night."

Tuvok silently left sickbay, leaving Kathryn alone with her thoughts. Before she could ponder much farther, the Doctor returned with a sandwich and a glass of cold water. He handed it to her as she wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her uniform. The Doctor didn't say anything, just waited for her to eat and quietly worked at his computer console. After Kathryn finished, she handed the plate to the EMH and the empty cup.

"You should get some rest, Captain. There's nothing more that can be done right now. I'll wake you up as soon as Chakotay regains consciousness. You can say good-night. I'll give you some privacy."

He went back into his office and sat down at his desk to get some work done. Kathryn looked at Chakotay's sleeping form. His hair was slightly ruffled and his lips were parted a little. She could hear him breathing softly and it was a comforting sound. She gently lifted her hand and touched his cheek, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. Chakotay looked so vulnerable and handsome. She didn't want to leave his side, but the Doctor was correct about her need to rest.

"Sweet dreams," Kathryn whispered. "I'll be back soon."

The captain leaned in close and placed a kiss on Chakotay's cheek. Then she left sickbay and headed back to her quarters. It was dim inside and she considered asking the computer to put the lights up, but decided against it. She went into her room and changed into her nightgown and let down her hair.

"Oh Kathy, you always look so wonderful," a familiar voice laughed.

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_Thanks for reading! Please review!_

_Emma_


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my imagination of how Chakotay looks without a shirt on.

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**Chapter 8**

"Q!" Kathryn exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just checking up on you. Oh Kathy, don't get all upset with me. I'm here to see how you liked my help," Q answered, sitting down on her bed suddenly dressed in dark blue, silky pajamas instead of a Starfleet uniform.

Kathryn pulled her bathrobe on, closing it tightly and tying it. She angrily turned to face him, desperate to know what he meant about him helping her. Q smiled at her as he crossed his arms across chest, giving a smug look. He patted the bed beside him, but she ignored it.

"How did you try to help me?" she snapped. "I don't need your help with anything; you've proved that several times."

"Sometimes I think you humans have such a negative view of us Q's. I was trying to help you with the situation with Chuckles."

Kathryn thought for a moment. Wait… Chuckles was Q's name for Chakotay. "You caused this to happen to Chakotay? He could have been killed!"

"Oh Kathy, I wasn't very far from you. I wouldn't have let your precious Chuckles die. You would be completely unbearable for the rest of your lifetime. I simply put you in a situation to give you the chance to see him for what he is and to allow him to see you as Kathryn, not Captain Janeway."

"Don't 'oh Kathy' me!"

Kathryn stormed into the living room and ordered some hot coffee from the replicator, all desire to fall asleep was gone with the blood pounding through her veins. Q appeared behind her, looking over her shoulder. She had a sudden urge to turn and slap him, but decided against it since he would probably mistake it was foreplay and might proposition her again.

"Coffee at this hour? You should have some nice raspberry tea. Chuckles orders that quite frequently when he can't sleep."

With a white flash, the coffee disappeared from the mug and cold raspberry tea filled the container. Kathryn groaned internally and went to sit down on her couch. The adrenaline was quickly fading from her system and she was still exhausted. She rubbed her forehead with her hand, cautiously taking a sip of the tea and finding that it actually tasted quite good. Q sat down next to her, suddenly holding a small brown puppy with floppy curly ears. She glared at him and it disappeared in a snap. That hadn't worked before and most definitely wouldn't work in this situation.

"What do you mean that you tried to help?" Kathryn forced out between her teeth to keep from yelling at him again.

"I might have helped your shuttle lose control and crash on the conveniently located planet with zero vegetation to keep you inside and close to Chuckles. It was easy."

"You can't do that to someone! He was in pain and you caused it!" Kathryn had given up remaining calm. "Q!"

"You need him. I am a Q and I know what will happen if you don't find yourself closer to Chuckles. Give up those human barriers and let yourself be with him. You'll thank me someday."

Q snapped his fingers and was gone. Kathryn groaned, letting her head fall back against the sofa in frustration. To find out that Q caused the accident that caused Chakotay to lose his sight and be in pain for two days, it was hard to describe how irritated she was. As the anger ebbed away, Kathryn turned slightly to look out at the stars as she sipped her tea. She sat still, not thinking of anything but Chakotay breathing in and out, his chest rising and falling. Slowly, Kathryn fell asleep, leaning against the sofa with her cup resting gently in her hands.

* * *

"Doctor to Captain Janeway," the EMH called for the second time.

Kathryn wearily opened her eyes, finding herself stiff from sleeping on the sofa. She rubbed her neck to ease the tension and saw the chronometer read a little after 0300 hours.

"Janeway here," she answered.

"I hate to disturb you Captain, but Commander Chakotay is awake and disoriented. I thought that your presence might calm him down a little bit. I don't want to medicate him further."

"On my way," she declared, setting down the cup and adjusting her robe.

Kathryn didn't bother to change, but went straight to sickbay, grateful that no one was in the corridors at this time. Chakotay was sitting up on the medical bed, breathing heavily and looking around. She went straight to his side, coaxing him to lie back down as the Doctor hovered around him with the medical scanner and a look on his face that said Chakotay better lie down or would be sedated.

"Kathryn, how… what happened?" he sounded slightly frantic.

"Chakotay… calm down. The Doctor had to perform surgery on you, but you're going to be okay," Kathryn murmured, slowly getting him to lie down and putting her hand on his cheek.

Chakotay blinked heavily as he fought to stay awake. "You're… okay?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm okay. How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts… but at least I can see a little bit. Instead of darkness, I can see some color. It's really blurry though."

"Your sight will return in a few days," the Doctor spoke up. "Your optical nerves were severely damaged, but I managed to heal them with little effort. It'll just take a few days for your eyes to adjust to light again."

Chakotay nodded, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths to calm down. The Doctor went into his office after administering some pain medication to help Chakotay with the headache. Kathryn heard the Doctor sit down at his chair and continue working. She remained silent, watching Chakotay lay on the medical bed, attempting to calm himself and release his anxiety. He was so still that she thought he had fallen back asleep after a few minutes. Ever so gently, Kathryn raised her hand and ran her fingers through his messy hair. He smiled slightly, but didn't open his eyes.

"How are you really doing?" he asked.

"I'm fine," the woman answered with a forced smile. "Despite an unexpected visit from Q a few hours ago, I'm just glad that you're doing better."

He didn't have to open his eyes to see right through her lie. "I'm too drowsy to pursue you right now, but I know you too well to believe that you're fine after all of this. We'll talk more tomorrow about Q. Besides… I think the crew owes us some more shore leave. I promised that I would take you dancing on the holodeck."

"You're right. Good night, Chakotay."

Kathryn had a strong urge to kiss him on his soft lips, but she couldn't do it. It felt wrong for her to receive the happiness that she wanted. Biting back a sob, she patted Chakotay's hand once and left sickbay, ignoring the concerned look on the Doctor's face. Maybe in the morning, she could forget all that happened and let things return to the way that they were. It was easier to feel pain than to love the man she wanted to love. Q was wrong about her. Kathryn Janeway didn't have time for love. She lay for a long time in her bed before a single tear fell down her cheek and in the softness of night, she wept until sleep came.

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Chakotay knew that something was wrong from the moment that he heard her voice. His eyes strained to see her, but everything was so blurry and his head was pounding regardless of the Doctor's special recipe. He could hear it in her voice. It sounded as if she'd just woken up from a restless sleep and needed a cup of coffee. Her hand was soft on his cheek, comforting him just like she had in the shuttle. But this time, Kathryn was withdrawn slightly. He wished that he could just see her again. Her face always gave away so much of how she was feeling, but her voice was enough tonight.

Then Chakotay felt her fingers in his hair, and heard her sigh. He desperately wished that he could wipe away her pain, but the fog was closing in again. She mentioned something about Q, but the words were running together. He mumbled about dancing, knowing that it would make her smile. But the sound he heard next was not what he expected. Kathryn bit her lip, taking a sharp breath and giving a small sniffle. She was holding back tears. Chakotay tried to remember if he could have caused those tears that threatened to fall, but he didn't have the strength. She touched his hand once more and the warmth was gone.

At that moment, Chakotay hadn't felt so alone without her. He needed Kathryn.

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_Thanks for reading! Please review!_

_Emma_


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Voyager doesn't belong to me and I gain nothing from this.

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**Chapter 9**

Captain Janeway took a sip of her coffee, flipping through the reports on her desk and trying not to concentrate on the fact that Chakotay had been released to his quarters a few hours ago and she hadn't heard from him yet. The Doctor had suggested that he remain off duty for at least two days to let his eyes fully heal. Kathryn had willingly obliged, quickly making herself busy in her ready room. The door chimed and a part of her hoped that it was Chakotay, but she pushed the thought away.

"Come in," she called, not looking up.

Harry Kim entered with his hands behind his back and standing at attention. She gave him a small smile and he returned it.

"Is there something that I can help you with?" she asked, taking another sip of her coffee.

"I have that report on the star cluster that you asked for. And I wanted to check on you to see how you're feeling."

"I'm fine, Harry. Thank you," Kathryn replied, taking the report from him.

"How's Commander Chakotay?"

"The Doctor released him to his quarters this morning and he's on leave for the next two days, but he'll make a full recovery." Kathryn stood up and walked over to Harry's side, putting a hand on his shoulder. "There's no need to worry."

"Understood, Captain." He turned to leave, but stopped. "Oh, I almost forgot. Neelix is planning a party to celebrate your rescue and he would like you and Chakotay to attend. It's tomorrow evening if the Commander is up to it."

Kathryn grinned. "I'll ask him to see how he's feeling. And tell Neelix thank you if you see him."

Harry nodded and exited her ready room, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She sighed, sitting back down at her desk. There was absolutely no way that she could get back to work now since she was imagining Chakotay lying on the floor of the shuttle with part of his skin exposed. He was so handsome. Kathryn set the pad down.

"Janeway to Chakotay," she said, pressing her com badge.

There was no response and she didn't want to try again in case he had fallen asleep. Kathryn picked up her coffee and went to the bridge. Tuvok nodded at her, working diligently at his station. Tom was joking with Harry about canceling on him when it was their turn to play Captain Proton on the holodeck. She smiled, feeling a surge of pride for the people that they were. Harry never would have come out of his shell without Tom's friendship and without Harry Tom wouldn't have realized that he needed a best friend. They needed each other and always were there for each other when things got bad. It hit her in that moment. Her best friend needed her.

"Tuvok, you have the bridge," Kathryn declared, setting down her cup and heading into the turbo lift, ignoring the strange looks from those she left behind.

Kathryn walked slowly to Chakotay's quarters, not sure if she could do this. Hell, she faced the Borg and the Kazon and faced Neelix's leola root stew… she could visit him. After waiting for a minute with no answer at his door, the captain used her override code to open the door. It was dark inside his quarters with no light on and it smelled faintly of chocolate chip cookies. Looking around the room, Kathryn saw a still figure on the couch. Chakotay was partially covered with his blanket with one bare foot sticking out from the soft material. She gently pulled it over his toes and sat down beside him. Chakotay stirred at the movement, opening his heavy eyes.

"Kathryn?" he mumbled. "Is something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine," Kathryn choked as her eyes filled with tears.

Chakotay asked the computer to raise the lights slightly so he could see her. The sight of tears in her eyes was painful, but beautiful at the same time. He slowly sat up, adjusting himself so he was sitting close to her on the couch, praying silently that she wouldn't pull away from him. Kathryn looked down at her hands in her lap.

"I can't do this anymore," she muttered.

"Kathryn…" Chakotay whispered, putting his hand on her face and wiping away the tear that fell with the side of his thumb.

"It's too painful to pretend that we're only friends… I almost lost you. I would never forgive myself if you died."

"I know what you mean… the way we are living right now is too hard for anyone. We're alone out here in the Delta Quadrant and Kathryn, I need you. I don't care about the line that you've drawn for our relationship. That line needs to be broken before we ourselves break in too many pieces to count. Kathryn…" her name fell from his lips.

Not waiting for a sign from her, Chakotay pulled Kathryn into his arms and held her against his chest. She returned the embrace as her shoulders shook with pent emotions. For the first time, Kathryn wept freely on his shoulder with no fear of what could be. She was in the arms of the man that loved her. Chakotay kissed the top of her head, squeezing her tightly. They remained silent for a long time before Kathryn broke the quiet.

"How are you feeling?"

"My sight is a lot better and there's only residual pain in my side, so overall much better. Right now, I feel like I could take on the entire collective," he teased.

"I definitely couldn't take on the Borg today… I'm an emotional mess and would probably show weakness and cause the entire crew to be assimilated," Kathryn chuckled.

"That sounds like a bad morning."

"The only thing that could make that morning worse would be all the female crew members announcing that they were pregnant and the Doctor was the father."

Kathryn laughed, looking up at his face. Chakotay glanced down at her, quickly realizing how close her face was to his. He could feel her hot breath warming his lips. Her eyes lashes could have tickled his cheeks if they were any closer. Chakotay had never had such a desire to kiss her before and he didn't think he could stop himself from the closing the final distance between them. Kathryn's eyes closed as he moved in close to her, gently putting his lips on her. It was better than he could ever have dreamed. Her lips parted slightly as he kissed her, giving her just a glimpse of his love because it was all she could take right now. His tears mingled with hers as they broke the kiss.

"I will always be with you." Chakotay pulled back, giving her a little space.

* * *

"Did you see her face?" Tom asked, hovering over Harry's shoulder.

"Yes, what's your point?" Harry demanded. "I'm trying to get some work done and your twenty questions aren't helping me think."

Tom moved around to the front of the station, glancing in Tuvok's direction to make sure that he wasn't paying attention to their conversation. No doubt he could hear it with his superior Vulcan hearing, but he was being patient with them for the moment. Harry stopped pressing buttons for a second, giving Tom his full attention.

"You really think that she went to see him?" Harry whispered.

"The Captain left her mug on Tuvok's desk, half full of coffee still. And the look on her face was obvious; they've been dancing around each other for years because of protocol. I think something happened on that shuttle between the two of them."

"We have no right to speculate about the Captain's personal life…"

"Harry, Harry, Harry. You've seen the way that Chakotay looks at her. He's been in love with her for a long time. Maybe this pushed him to the edge and he'll just tell her the truth."

Tuvok realized that this conversation had gone on long enough. "Lieutenant, please return to your station and save the gossip for Mr. Neelix's ship news or for the mess hall."

Tom winked at Harry and motioned that they would continue this conversation later before returning to his post. Harry rolled his eyes before returning to his work, yet he was slightly distracted now. Could it be?

* * *

_Thanks for reading! Please review! One more chapter!  
_

_Emma_


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Voyager belongs to Paramount, not me.**

_This is the final chapter of "Love is Blind". Enjoy!

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_

**Chapter 10**

Kathryn took a sip of her coffee and finished straightening her dress for Neelix's party. He had made it mandatory that no one could wear uniforms. She was wearing a knee length dress in a golden color with a black sweater that covered part of her shoulders. B'Elanna had helped pick it out since Neelix wanted the party to be formal and if Kathryn had her way she would have worn her dress uniform. She finished pinning up the curls in her hair, looking at her reflection in the mirror. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, but there was no reason. After taking one last glance, Kathryn exited her quarters and went to fetch Chakotay since he was still having a little trouble seeing and she didn't want him tripping on the way to the party and injuring himself again.

"Come on in," Chakotay called when she pressed the door chime.

The door slid open and Kathryn slowly walked inside. There was no one in the main room and soft music was playing in the background.

"I'll be right there; I'm just having trouble with my tie. Of course Neelix would have a black tie event when I can't see what I'm doing properly," he mumbled from his bedroom.

Kathryn laughed softly, taking a seat on his sofa. "If you need any help, just let me know."

She waited patiently until Chakotay emerged a moment later with a black tie handing loose around his neck. He was dressed in black dress slacks, and a blue silk button down shirt. He was extremely handsome. Kathryn smiled and stood up.

"You look amazing," he commented, grinning.

"Thank you. You look very nice yourself," she laughed.

"Thanks. Can you help me with this tie? I keep thinking that I have it and then it just falls off. I was never really good at this."

Kathryn stepped up to him, gently taking the soft material in her hands. Chakotay's face was so near to hers and she thought that he would kiss her again. He was quiet as she tied his tie for him and adjusted it to look nice.

"How did you learn to do this?" he murmured.

"My dad always had trouble with his own tie and my mom wasn't good at it. I had a friend at school teach me how to do it and then I practiced on my dad whenever he needed it," Kathryn whispered as her hands went still.

"You'll have to teach me sometime."

She shut her eyes as Chakotay leaned in closer, but didn't kiss her yet.

"We should get to the mess hall before Neelix comes to find us," he sighed, leaning back and dropping his hands from her arms.

"You teased me," Kathryn laughed, swatting his arm lightly.

"Of course. Shall we?"

Chakotay offered his arm to Kathryn and she quickly slipped her arm in his with a smile on her face. He leaned over and softly kissed her cheek. They walked quietly to the mess hall together, passing a few crewmembers that complimented their appearance. The mess hall was decorated in beautiful colors with lace streamers and delicious smelling food. Tom and B'Elanna spotted them enter and came over to see them. Kathryn smiled at the way Tom was lovingly holding his wife close to his side. Tom stopped a few feet from them and held up three fingers.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" he asked Chakotay with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Three," Chakotay chuckled.

"What do you call a blind rabbit sitting on your face?" Tom asked.

Those in hearing range groaned at the idea of Tom making blind jokes all night long and comments about if Chakotay could see numbers on his fingers.

"I don't know. What?" B'Elanna responded, deciding to humor her husband even if he embarrassed himself.

"An unsightly facial hare!"

They all laughed softly at Tom's enthusiasm for such a terrible joke. Chakotay let it slide and laughed alone with them. This was to be a night of fun, not frustration.

"My vision is improving," Chakotay stated, giving his friend a firm smile.

"That's true. You do have the second loveliest woman in this room on your arm," Tom chuckled.

Kathryn smiled at Chakotay as he returned her glance. The Doctor came over at that moment with Seven on his arm and inquired about the commander's health. Mr. Paris quickly told another blind joke about a rabbi and skydiving. The two mingled with the crew and informed Neelix of how nice the mess hall looked. After a while, Kathryn and Chakotay sat down on a couch to eat some of the luscious smelling food as they observed the crew. Harry was talking with Tom and B'Elanna, laughing over one of the bad jokes. Tuvok was listening to Neelix tell a story about parties on Talax. Samantha Wildman was wiping food off of Naomi's face as she secretly passed her roll to Ensign Tanner under the table.

"They all look so happy and content," Kathryn muttered, finishing her buttered roll.

"It has been six years together," Chakotay pointed out.

"You're right," she sighed. "We've become quite a family over the years."

Chakotay took her hand, squeezing it in reassurance. "Nothing can break us apart."

She smiled over at him, fully aware that they were probably being observed by the crew as he held her hand and whispered to her. It was doubtful that they hadn't realized how they acted around each other. The crew had almost certainly noticed it before Kathryn did. Chakotay took her plate and returned with a glass of champagne after almost bumping into a chair twice.

"Are you sure that this won't be bad luck if we drink some of this? The last time we had champagne we crashed on a planet and were stuck together for a long time," Kathryn joked, standing up and accepting the glass flute.

"I'll alert the Doctor if we need him," Chakotay laughed.

Seven decided to appear at that moment and ask them a few questions about their away mission and Q's intervention, drawing their interest away from the romantic atmosphere between them. The Doctor interrupted her before she could get too deep into something she was researching.

The evening continued on and several of the crew dismissed themselves as it got late since they had to work the early shift. Soon, only a handful was remaining and some had started cleaning up. Chakotay pulled Kathryn over to the side.

"Are you tired yet?" he inquired.

"Not really," she answered.

"Good. The evening isn't over yet because we haven't had dessert." He put out his arm for her to take. "I have a surprise for you."

Chakotay guided her around the room and they bid everyone good-night. Kathryn smiled, very curious about what Chakotay had planned for the rest of the evening. The Doctor gave him one last nod and the two walked slowly to the holodeck. Chakotay kept his hand on top of hers as they walked, making her smile. They arrived at the holodeck and Chakotay loaded the program, not letting her see.

"I'm not sure if I like surprises," Kathryn teased.

"You'll like this surprise. I promise. Now, close your eyes," he ordered softly.

Kathryn closed her eyes, hearing the doors open. Chakotay took her hand, guiding her inside the room. She could hear the sound of waves crashing upon the shore and feel the cool breeze hitting her skin. Keeping her eyes tight, she let Chakotay take her farther onto the beach. The feel of sand beneath her shoes was wonderful and Kathryn was tempted to stop and take them off. Chakotay paused and moved her to face one direction.

"You can open your eyes now," he whispered.

Kathryn opened her eyes and gasped at the beautiful sight. It was sunset and the sky was covered with little pink clouds accented by the oranges and reds. To her left was a gazebo covered in draping Christmas lights that glittered on the water. It was amazing.

"Chakotay… I love it."

"You haven't seen all of it yet. Come with me."

They both slipped their shoes off and ran towards the water, leaving them at the edge of the gazebo to keep the water from them. Chakotay reached the water's edge first, but stopped to roll up his pants and Kathryn went past him, splashing water up. It was cold against her bare feet. Chakotay came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned over to kiss her. She smiled, letting him love her. They walked down the beach for a long time, talking about anything and everything. Chakotay kept his arm around her waist, pulling her nearer to his side. It was the most romantic night she could remember. Finally, Chakotay guided her into the lit gazebo and she saw a small table with an old fashioned music player and a plate. On the plate was two beautiful pieces of angel food cake. He sat her down in the chair and put a bite of cake on the fork, gently putting it into her mouth. Kathryn hummed at the delicious taste.

"Do you like it?"

"It's delicious," Kathryn complimented.

"I had to ask Neelix for special permission to use his kitchen to make it, but he was very helpful since I kept missing the bowl."

She laughed, watching him take a bite and getting cake on his cheek somehow. Kathryn brushed away the crumbs, her fingers lingering on his face.

"This has been the best night of my life," she whispered.

"I agree. But I'm still not done yet."

He stood up and pressed start on the music player. A beautiful song poured from the speakers, classical piano perfect for dancing. Chakotay pulled her close, putting one hand on her back and holding her hand in the other. He spun her around the dance floor, twirling and laughing at the smile on her face. Kathryn's dress wrapped around her legs, tickling her skin. The dance continued until the song ended and a slower song began. Chakotay held her tightly, putting his cheek against hers.

"Chakotay… I promise to make this work, no matter what," Kathryn whispered in his ear.

"I know," he murmured. "I love you Kathryn."

"I love you too, Chakotay."

He kissed her, giving her all of his love as a promise to never leave her.

* * *

_Thank you all for your kind reviews for this story! I loved writing it and reading what you thought of it. I'm considering making a short epilogue with Tom and Harry's response to the evening, but I might just leave it at this romantic end. :) Anyway, thank you and please review!_

_Emma_


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